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Two Mr Ps in a Pod(Cast)

Episodes

LO: To Know They Don't Write Reports Like They Used To!

4/24/2025

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🎉 The Mr Ps are back and ready to tackle the start of the summer term, but not without a few grumbles—especially when it comes to stolen bank holidays and shortened breaks! Mr P shares his outrage about only getting one week off for Easter and the injustice of missing out on a bank holiday when it falls during school holidays. Teachers deserve their perks! 🏖️ There’s a recap of Mr P’s Easter trip to Barry Island for the long-awaited Gavin & Stacey tour, plus reflections on turning the big 4-0 with a joint party, a live band, and plenty of dancing (and not-so-plenty of recovery time). 😴 Adam gets real about the struggles of sleep deprivation, thanks to a six-year-old who recently gave up his dummies. If you’ve ever tried to parent after a night of zero sleep, this one’s for you. 🕺 A chat about signs you know you're getting older—whether it’s finding joy in doing absolutely nothing, battling rogue ear hairs at the barbers, or being weirdly excited about a cordless vacuum. Midlife has never sounded so real… or so funny.
🎤 The Mr Ps also dish out advice to a nervous assistant head struggling with assemblies, share listener stories that range from jaw-dropping to heartwarming, and revisit some of the most savage comments ever made by teachers back in the day. Let’s just say… they don’t make school reports like they used to!
🎟️ Don’t forget—tickets for the Two Mr Ps Live Tour are on sale now! New dates just added for October 2025 and February 2026. Get yours at 2mrpspodcast.com
📚 Grab the Sunday Times bestselling books for your staffroom or summer reading list: Put a Wet Paper Towel on It, It’s Your Own Time You’re Wasting, and How to Survive the School Year.
🎧 Got a classroom tale or teacher trauma to share? Submit it anonymously at 2mrpspodcast.com and don’t forget to join the Facebook group for more teacher laughs.

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LO: To Know The Best Seats On The School Bus Are At The Back

3/31/2025

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The Mr Ps are back with another packed episode full of school staff giggles, sibling chaos, and some wild stories you won’t believe actually happened.
This week, Mr P shares an unexpected invite to 10 Downing Street (yep, really) and wonders what kind of breakfast awaits—a posh pastry or a policy chat? Meanwhile, Adam’s in full Easter play prep mode as his daughter takes on the lead role… and let’s just say they're big sandals to fill after Mr P played the same role back in the day.
There’s also a deep dive into the UK’s most relatable minor inconveniences—from slow walkers and dodgy apps to the nightmare of reduced sticker barcodes and bacon packaging rage. And of course, it wouldn’t be a Two Mr Ps episode without a healthy dose of classroom chaos as the Mr Ps share some absolute belters from listeners, including the most savage pupil burns and the kind of eyebrow-raising comments that only happen in a classroom.
🎟️ Tickets for the Two Mr P’s Let That Be a Lesson Tour are on sale now!
New dates added—join the lads live in October 2025 and February 2026. Grab yours at 2mrpspodcast.com
📚 Need a laugh? Grab the Sunday Times Bestselling books Put a Wet Paper Towel on It, It’s Your Own Time You’re Wasting, and How to Survive the School Year. Perfect for teachers, TAs, or anyone who needs a laugh after a long week.
🎧 Got a story? Submit it anonymously at 2mrpspodcast.com and don’t forget to join the Facebook group for more teacher chaos!

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LO: To Never Wag A French Lesson

3/24/2025

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The Mr Ps are back for another packed episode taking you on a wild ride through awkward teacher moments, legendary high school drama, and the kind of classroom chaos only teachers will understand.
Mr P shares the relatable tale of becoming that parent—the one who insists their child is fine, only for said child to spectacularly throw up the moment they return to school. Meanwhile, the other Mr P is podcasting from a hotel room, on a mission to find a hotel gym that actually works.
But the real show-stealer is a Reddit thread about “The Incident” in high school—featuring one of the most cinematic, layered and laugh-out-loud stories ever told. Think: Ocean’s Eleven, but with vending machines, a dead fox, a head-torch called Matty, and a bunch of lads crawling under a school in full-blown heist mode. It's got everything: suspense, disaster, betrayal, and one very traumatised music teacher.
The episode also features a bumper crop of awkward school moments, from dodgy medical encounters with parents to tooth disasters, awkward RSE questions, and one unforgettable “special torch” moment—this episode is packed with classroom chaos that’ll make any teacher want to disappear.
🎟️ Tickets for the Two Mr P’s Let That Be a Lesson Tour are on sale now!
New dates added! Join the lads for hilarious live shows in October 2025 and February 2026. Grab your tickets before they’re gone at 2mrpspodcast.com
📚 Need a laugh? Pick up the Sunday Times Bestselling books Put a Wet Paper Towel on It, It’s Your Own Time You’re Wasting, and How to Survive the School Year. Perfect for staffrooms, gift ideas, or just for surviving the chaos of teaching.
🎧 Want to feature in a future episode?
Send in your funniest school stories at 2mrpspodcast.com and join the Facebook group for even more teacher chaos and community banter!

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LO: To know the difference between a work mate and a work colleague

3/17/2025

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Welcome back to another episode of Two Mr P’s in a Podcast – Season 8, Episode 23!
After a short break, the two Mr P’s are back and firing on all cylinders, bringing you another jam-packed episode full of hilarious teacher tales, cringe-worthy moments, and eyebrow-raising confessions. Whether you’re listening on your commute, hiding in the stock cupboard for a moment of peace, or winding down after a long day in the classroom, this episode is guaranteed to bring plenty of laughs.
The lads get stuck into the latest Netflix must-watch, Adolescence, a show that’s equal parts gripping and terrifying for anyone working with young people. They break down the dangers of mobile phones and social media, why it’s more relevant than ever for teachers and parents, and the shocking reality of what students are exposed to online. Mr P shares his thoughts on why kids should probably never have phones in school, while Adam reflects on how the show left him wide-eyed and unable to sleep.
Elsewhere, the brothers explore some of the most ridiculously dumb things people have ever said, from jaw-dropping misunderstandings to moments of sheer stupidity that will have you questioning everything. Whether it's a teacher convinced that ducks have four legs or a colleague who believes Halloween could one day fall on Friday the 13th, expect plenty of second-hand embarrassment and uncontrollable laughter.
Of course, no episode would be complete without a classic school fail—and this week’s highlight is an all-time awkward moment in the staffroom. A teacher spends 15 full minutes pouring their heart out about a struggling student… Safe to say, the person they were speaking to was in no position to offer much pastoral support!
🎟️ Tickets for the Two Mr P’s Let That Be a Lesson Tour are on sale now!
New dates added! Join the lads for hilarious live shows in October 2025 and February 2026. Grab your tickets before they’re gone at 2mrpspodcast.com
📚 Need a laugh? Pick up the Sunday Times Bestselling books Put a Wet Paper Towel on It, It’s Your Own Time You’re Wasting, and How to Survive the School Year. Perfect for staffrooms, gift ideas, or just for surviving the chaos of teaching.
🎧 Want to feature in a future episode?
Send in your funniest school stories at 2mrpspodcast.com and join the Facebook group for even more teacher chaos and community banter!

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LO: To Know They Don't Make Quotable Lines Like They Used To

3/6/2025

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In this episode, the brothers return exhausted and slightly delirious after surviving World Book Day—a day that somehow manages to be both magical and utterly draining in equal measure. Mr P records from a hotel room in London after a mammoth drive, while Adam is fresh off the back of a residential trip, where sleep was a distant dream, and the only winner was his son, who suddenly learned how to sleep perfectly the moment Dad left.
Adam continues his World Book Day tradition of dressing up as a female book character, claiming it’s all for the kids (but Mr P isn’t convinced). This year’s choice? Gangsta Granny, complete with a skirt, full makeup, and an unexpected level of enthusiasm from parents and children alike. 

The lads also dive into the ultimate nostalgia trip, reminiscing about the most iconic movie quotes from their youth. From Forrest Gump to Anchorman, Titanic to Borat, expect 90s and 2000s gold that proves just how quotable—and painfully cringey—our teenage years really were.

As always, the episode is packed with hilarious listener stories and it wouldn’t be an episode without a brutal school fail, and this one takes the biscuit—a Year 3 diary entry that sends one teacher into full-on crisis mode, only for the punchline to reveal one of the biggest (and funniest) misunderstanding of all time.

🎟️ Tickets for the Two Mr Ps Live Tour are selling fast! Head to 2mrpspodcast.com to grab yours before they’re gone.
📚 Need a laugh? Get your hands on the Sunday Times Bestselling books Put a Wet Paper Towel on It, It’s Your Own Time You’re Wasting, and How to Survive the School Year—but maybe keep them away from the kids.
👀 Want to feature in a future episode? Share your funniest school stories at 2mrpspodcast.com and join the Facebook group for even more teacher chaos and community banter.

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LO: To Never Let A Student Pick The Assembly Song

2/24/2025

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In this episode, the brothers return from half-term and realise, as always, that the break somehow managed to feel both endless and over in a flash. Mr P attempts to navigate a night out at Bongo’s Bingo while stone-cold sober—a truly eye-opening experience that leaves him questioning everything from health and safety risks to the stamina of students on a night out. Meanwhile, Adam reflects on a weekend of questionable decisions, including a stay in a boiling hot Alton Towers hotel room that felt more like a sauna than a family getaway.
As they settle back into school life, the lads share some of the most painfully relatable teacher-tired moments after hearing that some teachers came to the live podcast tour a year early. They also take a deep dive into the strangest, most brilliant things children have ever said, proving once again that kids have an uncanny ability to drop wisdom bombs when you least expect it.
Elsewhere, a simple discussion about TV shows with a British twist spirals into a conversation about nostalgic soaps, baffling plot holes, and Lee’s brief but unforgettable acting career. And, of course, listener stories never fail to deliver—expect tales of assembly disasters, accidental insults, and some truly unhinged parent emails that leave the lads wondering how some people even find the time.
​Tickets for the Two Mr Ps Live Tour are on sale now! The show kicks off in October 2025 and February 2026, and some dates are already close to selling out. Grab your tickets at 2mrpspodcast.com, where you can also share your funniest school stories to feature in future episodes.

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LO: To Know You Should Never Call Your Pet Budgie "Willy"

2/10/2025

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In the last epsiode before the February half term break, Mr P and the other Mr P dive into the chaos of Ofsted visits as Adam finally emerges from the other side—did the inspectors bring up Lee’s latest rant? Mr P tries to resist the urge to further damn the latest reforms and the ludicrous nature of Ofsted judging schools on attendance. 

Elsewhere, the lads discuss the most annoying sayings doing the rounds, from “hollybobs” to “fur baby”, and discover that the other Mr P might need to retire “it’s a vibe” from his vocabulary. The lads then pack the episode with more of your hilarious stories, with plenty of lessons to learn about what not to do to avoid the most embarrassing moments where you want the ground to swallow you up.
🎟️ The Two Mr Ps Live Tour is coming! Tickets are selling fast, so grab yours now at 2mrpspodcast.com. Got a wild school story or hilarious confession? Share it on the site—you might just hear it on the next episode!
📢 Rate & Review! If you love the pod, drop us a review on Apple Podcasts—help us spread the laughs (and the school-related trauma).
Enjoy the half-term break, and we’ll see you on the other side! 🎉

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LO: To know Ofsted clearly have staff meetings in Nandos

2/3/2025

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This week, it’s all happening! Adam gets the call—yes, that dreaded school phone call that sends shivers down every teacher’s spine. The brothers dive into the stress, absurdity, and high stakes of an Ofsted visit, while Mr P unleashes an almighty rant about Ofsted’s latest so-called “reforms” (spoiler: they’re just as pointless and ridiculous as ever).
Elsewhere, they tackle the big debate—should kids call teachers by their first names? One listener argues the case, but let’s just say the lads aren’t convinced. Plus, they reminisce about that weird childhood obsession of finding out teachers’ first names—absolute gold dust back in the day.

Also in this episode:
🎭 Boyzone: No Matter What documentary is this week's recommendation—why Louis Walsh might just be the perfect Ofsted inspector.
📜 The most bizarre (and concerning) things kids have told their teachers about their parents’ jobs
🚨 The school wellbeing initiative that takes the biscuit
🤦‍♂️ And finally, the story of a teacher who lovingly marked a pile of papers… only for her boyfriend to mistake them for something after one too many drinks. Febreze was involved.

This episode is packed with laughs, relatable rants, and a little bit of chaos—so grab a brew (or maybe something stronger) and enjoy!

🎟️ Two Mr Ps LIVE Tour: Don’t forget to grab your tickets for the Two Mr Ps Live Tour—coming to a city near you in October half-term 2025 & February half-term 2026. Tickets and story submissions available at 2mrpspodcast.com.

📢 Got a story? Whether it’s a school disaster, parent complaint, or a wild confession, share it anonymously via the website—your tale could feature on the pod!

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LO: To know we all did cringey things as teenagers

1/28/2025

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In this episode, the brothers dive headfirst into the hilarity and chaos of school life, with a good dose of relatable rants and cringe-worthy moments. They kick things off with Mr P telling a tale that’s every teacher’s nightmare—It’s a story of survival, wet wipes, and making a memorable first impression (shoe in hand).

Next, they take on the January blues, swapping stories of windy playground duties, sleepless nights, and reminiscing about the energy (and questionable fashion choices) of their teenage years. Expect laughs as they relive their cringiest moments, from wearing suits to the pub to blasting BFG audiobooks in car parks.

The episode also features a hilarious round-up of the weirdest parent complaints, including a child’s "stolen" eyebrows, demands for teachers to microwave Rustlers burgers, and the parent who wanted less Jesus in the school nativity.

And as always, more listener stories don’t disappoint—teddies being “tossed off,” children channeling Taylor Swift in maths, and a surprising twist involving a pharmaceutical rep mistaken for a drug dealer.

This week’s episode is proudly sponsored by The Week Junior—the magazine perfect for sparking curiosity and critical thinking in kids. Want to try it out? Get six weeks for just £1 and prepare for some brilliant conversations.

Finally, don’t forget the Two Mr Ps Live Tour! Tickets are flying out, so grab yours at 2mrpspodcast.com. While you’re there, share your own stories and confessions to keep the laughs coming.
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LO: To officially decide the ultimate British phrase

1/20/2025

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In this episode, the brothers take a humorous detour into the world of all things weird, wonderful, and very British. First, they kick things off by chatting about the latest (and eyebrow-raising) news across the pond—no shortage of opinions on political happenings in the U.S. But fear not, the lads swiftly bring it back home with a fun tournament to find the most quintessentially British phrase ever.

They then delve into more of your uproarious real-life classroom tales—teachers getting locked in buildings, bizarre ferret rescues in the school hall, and an unfortunate hamster situation that’s become the stuff of playground legend. From staff members mooning senior leaders to kids mixing up words in the most hilariously awkward ways, it’s another laugh-out-loud journey through the daily madness of school life.

This episode is sponsored by The Week Junior—the magazine that answers all those quirky, weird, and downright bonkers questions curious kids throw at you. For just £1, you can try it for six weeks and spark your pupils’ (or your own kids’) love of learning. 

Finally, don’t miss out on the Two Mr Ps Live Tour—tickets are on sale now! Dates are already filling up fast, so treat yourself (or a fellow teacher) at 2mrpspodcast.com where you can share all your stories and confessions.

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